Musings

The last day was a bittersweet experience for me. It was the conclusion of one stage of my life that had been good to me, but it was also the end of something that I really needed to be ended. My time in the military had been a wonderful blessing to me. Yet, it contained some of the most trying times in my life.

This was the best paying job that I had ever had in my life. It came immediately on the hills of my graduation from college and started me on a trek that allowed me to do some things that I never imagined in my life. The first blessing was the fact that I had been selected to attend parachutist school as my first assignment. Even though it was only a temporary duty assignment, it was one that would bolster my confidence. It was physically challenging throughout the first two weeks, and mentally fulfilling through the last weeks of the training. I was in great shape and the pay surely made me feel better about leaving my pregnant wife behind for a while. She was in good hands, I thought. The immediacy of the medical benefits left me without worry about the bill that would accompany her delivery. I almost made it back in time for the birth of my second child. She held out until I was at the end of the training. I came home happy about the birth and the completion of one of my goals: Airborne qualified.

My next assignment was to the installation where everything began to change from good to bad. Although it was not something that I would immediately realize, it was coming. My father had told me that God didn’t want this to be my career, but I set about to make it to retirement. Little did I know that my delay in attending basic officer training would have an adverse affect on my progression to that end. While I was able to handle another temporary duty assignment, this time there would be an efficiency rating completed. I did well while I worked at the post headquarters, but not well enough. My rating comments were all positive, but the scores were not as good as they needed to be.

Basis officer training was another breeze, but I didn’t realize that I was several months behind my peers in experience. They had been able to complete the school before I did and were assigned to permanent units where they could develop and grow as officers. I was doing well, but I had started late. When I arrived at my permanent unit after school, I was still behind them in experience. They had not received an efficiency rating up to this time, but I had and it was not the highest that it could be with extended experience. Another rating came too soon as I was selected for another temporary duty assignment. I scored about the same as I had before, but my score was still lower than my peers.

It seemed that every time that an officer was needed for special duty in some temporary assignment, I was the one chosen. And each time, it was just long enough for the need for another rating. I was given duty that was not helping me learn my specialty, even though I was good, I wasn’t really getting to demonstrate my ability or to develop and grow. When promotion time came, I made it while I was on a temporary assignment. Back at the unit, officers who were junior to me were being given the assignments that would lead toward command. While they had two ratings, I had already received four.

I was reared to respect those who were over me; but the higher I went in the ranks of the officer corps of the U.S. Army, the harder it became for me to respect the persons who had been appointed over me. I was getting the shaft at every turn. When I finally got fed up with the disparity of treatment, it was almost too late. I bargained with my commander to return to my unit. The rules regarding rank were broken when I was assigned to work for an officer who was junior in grade to me, but I just wanted the chance to show what I could do.

This was the beginning of a downward spiral that got me to the point that I was eventually passed over  for promotion to permanent grade, not once but twice. While I wanted to succeed as a field artillery officer and retire, it just wasn’t my destiny. I loved the benefits associated with my time in the Army, and I really wanted to be the best that I could be. I miss the opportunity to serve and lead in that venue, but God had something else in mind for me.